dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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