So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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