after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
