I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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