I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
