so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
