so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
