You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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