i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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