So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
