He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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