My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize