I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
