I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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