She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
