Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
