I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My Higher Power is John Stamos
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
