I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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