I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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