you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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