My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
