I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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