I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think my vagina is haunted
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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