i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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