I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
