dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
