is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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