Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
