You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
