Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
