Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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