Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
