no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
