i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
