we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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