Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
