You're a womanizer and a bitch.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I need water and some morals
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
