I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Farmville is her only friend.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
FUCK WHALES
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