I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
