super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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