it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
