I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
