I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
and she was petting her beer can
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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