I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
