To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
