I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
