Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
