It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just pee around me
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
