Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
