Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I will pee on everything he values.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
