The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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