Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
They took my balls.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize