You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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