Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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