I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
