Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
