I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
