Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
