Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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