It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
