just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
