It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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