We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you inspire me to be a worse person
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
