I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
